I've been running about a thousand miles per hour in addition to thinking about a thousand thoughts per second. In 2010 I'm realizing more than ever before the necessity of sabbath. I'm not talking about the normal Protestant idea of 'Sunday' that is as driven by some work ethic that I'm not confident is of God - I'm talking about time to be. Just to be in God's presence. Recently I ran across this:
Be still and know I am God.
Be still and know I am.
Be still and know.
Be still.
Be.
I've seen that before - it's been around a long time - but I'm thinking 'Sabbath' lies in the truth of this pattern.
This 'thinking about resting and being' also reminds me of Elijah (1 Kings 19)...
The Holy One was not in the wind, or the earthquake, or the fire...
It was in the 'sheer silence' (as the NRSV puts it) that Elijah could clearly discern the Voice.
I do not make enough space for silence or for listening.
With technology making it possible to be connected with other human beings 24/7, an intentional space for resting from this constant state of being 'on' is necessary. Sabbath is necessary. Time to remember and to engage with family and God in a way that is different from other days is necessary.
So how does one create that space? Work (church and school for me; church and real estate for my husband; school and other activities for our children) consumes most of our time. Finding time for my 'own' sabbath rest is difficult enough - how can we find time to 'be' together?
This, I think, is the real purpose of this year of spiritual practices and reflection. To find sabbath.
February 13, 2010
February 12, 2010
So many thoughts...
Recently my normal 1000 thoughts per second have been overwhelmed the realities of life.
My family is busy. Very busy. Between church and interesting career possibilities, the husband is running very hard. The daughter is swimming and studying and swimming and studying and... well, you get the picture. The son is weight training with the football team and doing his best to do better in school without trying too hard...
My family life shifts and changes with regard to schedule and content, but within its changing nature is constancy.
Seminary is complicated. When I can focus on the classwork - I love it. When I can actually engage in writing - I love it. However, it is most of all a means to a Presbyterian end. Ok... that sounded strange but it is true. I am in seminary because I have sensed a call to become a minister of word and sacrament in the PC(USA). However, I am currently doing ministry (a different kind of ministry) with a PC(USA) congregation and without the resources that come from that work, I could not attend seminary. (Have to have a job folks.) But a part of me so longs to not have the complication of scheduling 30 hours of work around school (or school around 30 hours of work) while scheduling both around family. So I'm not able to give my best to school. I hate that. But for now, it's necessary (because I can't go to school without doing the work...)
Church (work) is also complicated. Things are happening - we seem to be growing (finally) and things I've been working hard to get into place seem to be bearing fruit. Part of me really wishes school wasn't in the way of what I can do with work. However, I know I won't be satisfied with 'this' particular kind of work forever. So I have to stay in school. I do enjoy what I am doing now - and see the potential for it to evolve into more - but right now, all of the layers of my life seem to be competing.
Guessing that's normal.
Normal is overrated.
My family is busy. Very busy. Between church and interesting career possibilities, the husband is running very hard. The daughter is swimming and studying and swimming and studying and... well, you get the picture. The son is weight training with the football team and doing his best to do better in school without trying too hard...
My family life shifts and changes with regard to schedule and content, but within its changing nature is constancy.
Seminary is complicated. When I can focus on the classwork - I love it. When I can actually engage in writing - I love it. However, it is most of all a means to a Presbyterian end. Ok... that sounded strange but it is true. I am in seminary because I have sensed a call to become a minister of word and sacrament in the PC(USA). However, I am currently doing ministry (a different kind of ministry) with a PC(USA) congregation and without the resources that come from that work, I could not attend seminary. (Have to have a job folks.) But a part of me so longs to not have the complication of scheduling 30 hours of work around school (or school around 30 hours of work) while scheduling both around family. So I'm not able to give my best to school. I hate that. But for now, it's necessary (because I can't go to school without doing the work...)
Church (work) is also complicated. Things are happening - we seem to be growing (finally) and things I've been working hard to get into place seem to be bearing fruit. Part of me really wishes school wasn't in the way of what I can do with work. However, I know I won't be satisfied with 'this' particular kind of work forever. So I have to stay in school. I do enjoy what I am doing now - and see the potential for it to evolve into more - but right now, all of the layers of my life seem to be competing.
Guessing that's normal.
Normal is overrated.
